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Q: Awhh, C'mon, why won't you help me install and configure my new PC and support me when I screw it up, and fix everything Microsoft breaks when I download the latest beta release of their buggy browser, and program my modem, and repair my phone wire that my dog chewed on? After all, I'm paying you good money. You should come to my house every day and clean my monitor.

We won't. Maybe http://www.aol.com will.
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